One Year Without a Car

Well, actually it was an SUV, which technically has a truck motor, so says my husband.  And I didn't have it.  I didn't have a car either.  Or a truck.  Or a mini-van (which has a car motor).  But my husband (who I don't usually talk about in my blog posts) says I really DID have a vehicle.  I just had to take him to work and pick him up to have access to it.  I'll admit that was true, but I did not like it.  I didn't like the lost morning coffee cups and not sliding into the routine of the day.  I didn't like the "on call" feeling for pick-up time that came randomly between 3:30 and 6pm.  Many times over the summer I just dropped the truck off at his workplace and catching the bus home so that I wouldn't have to do the "on call" thing.  And I know it sounds like I'm complaining, but I'm not.  Really.  I just didn't like it and Not Liking something is Okay.  I was Okay with it.  I was Okay not having a vehicle at my full access.  I only took him to work when biking, walking, and bus transportation were not possible for the needs of the day.
I loved walking.
I loved biking.
I loved taking public transportation.
I learned when to take offers from others for rides they blessed me with.
I learned that God was showing me so much more than I could have learned with a vehicle in my driveway.  He was healing me from wounds and winter and so much more than I've still yet to realize.
I committed to two weeks of swim lessons in January a mile from my house.  Knowing it would be cold.  Knowing it could rain. 
Not knowing I'd find so much joy, freedom, and healing in those two miles a day.
Maybe it seems we've had an unusual winter.
Maybe.  Last winter was unusual.  Last winter it was cold and snowed and stayed that way mid-November through mid-March.  This winter it has been warm and cold and rainy and cold and windy and warm and cold.  Not abnormal here.
But now I have the SUV back.  One year later.
And now I have these options.  And I have winter gear.  And rain gear.  And the knowledge.
And what do I do with all of that?
I do know that it took almost the full year for me to understand and equip myself with the gear & the attitude. 
Last winter was hard.  Like head in your hands - crying every day - hard.  For so many unsettling reasons (not the car).  I just didn't know what to do.  I didn't know I needed sun on my face and fresh air in my lungs year 'round.  I didn't know I needed to pay attention to the changing seasons and look for God in the mystery surrounding us.  I thought seeking Him looked only certain ways.  But I didn't know.
And now I know a little more.  Not much, but a little. 
And I'd not give up the experiences for a brand new vehicle in my driveway.  Honestly.  I believe my experiences will carry me much farther in life than a brand new vehicle could even take me.
I hope that this little sweetheart of mine gleaned at least a portion of the grandeur.  She was a wonderful traveling companion through it all and I look forward to many future adventures. 
Even the boys were able to share in and experience much.  Of course, they've been riding their bikes (and walking) as a primary means of transportation for some time, but public transportation was a new and useful tool to them. 
Well, come to think of it - my husband (the one I barely talk about- per his request) even jumped on the bus to get home a few times when I was shuttling the boys around the city to their basketball games. 
Some things come unexpectedly.
Some things take extra time, planning, and effort...all while God is showing us in the rarest of circumstances that He works everything out for our good and makes it all beautiful in His time.
I'm thankful for this redemptive season. 
So thankful my heart pours out gratitude.
Like an overflowing cup.
I am that
thankful.
Like eyes watering
deep breath
and sighing...
thankful.

Waiting for the bus through Summer, Fall, Winter

 

Looking at the passing train - while waiting for the bus

Last Summer waiting for the bus

Taking the bus home from the Free Summer Movies

Downtown City Transit

Brielle & "Sweetheart" - that's our bus!

Walking to the bus stop in our neighborhood

 

The waterfall at the Courthouse

The Christmas Tree covering the water fountain at Courthouse

She looked so big to me here - had to take pictures

 
 

"Is the bus coming?"

Can I make that?

On a recent trip to Hobby Lobby (my favorite craft store) I was browsing through the isles of some discounted Christmas decorations to get some cool ideas.

Now, I love going to craft fairs and markets where I usually have the thoughts: "How do they make that?" "Could I make that?" or "Impressive. I could not make that. What a talent/gift/ability they have."

But at Hobby Lobby my thoughts are generally, "I could never make that." I don't wonder who made it (Made in China) or how it was made (a factory?) or how it arrived at my local Hobby Lobby store, but I guess I'm starting to think about it. I can almost guarantee that while I may truly like the finished product, I could not recreate something to look as professionally machine-manipulated as it does.

Handcrafted artwork is naturally going to be original. It's going to be a little off or "imperfect" and that is what makes it so beautiful. Moreover, I cannot create something by hand and sell it for the same rate as mechanically made mass-produced items sold at Hobby Lobby or any other large retailer.

So, I've decided to release myself from the burden of making an item that could be sold at a local large retailer. I still buy supplies from Hobby Lobby, but I'm certainly considering the impact of purchasing finished crafts, decorations, and home items from large retailers. I'm looking into Etsy.com and local markets and stores that might know where their items came from, or better yet - the supplies to make them. Or even better - the person who handcrafted the piece.

If I can't make that - then what I am going to make will be original, unique, and hand crafted with all of the creativity God has given me.

And then ultimately... the customer will be able to choose where and how to spend their $15.

　

A slightly clean and workable space!

My "packaging" station

This morning is one of the best ever...if I can just get past myself and my inclinations to mess things up!   I say that in all seriousness.  The sun is shining (though I know it is cold out there) and the trees are moving gracefully to the sound of the wind as I see it through my windows.  I've got great music playing through our living room stereo via Pandora...and the children are (ahem - were) being calm and peaceful.  I took the pictures below just a few minutes ago.  This is my coffee table next to me as I sit on the couch with my new Christmas present.  I just popped out the SD card and put it right into my laptop and WhaLah, just like that...nearly Real Time.  I took the Netbook back and got a Notebook for not much more, but still...I already appreciate this laptop already, simply because of the keyboard, speed, and its ability to function. I really wanted a netbook to work out, because of it's lightness & long battery life.  But for the blogging & Etsy listing that I want to do - I now know this device is a better tool.

Now accepting 2011 calendars!

 

So much potential!

Below:  a friend of mine & her daughter gave this groovy bead stringing kit to Brielle for her birthday.  She loves it of course!  She wants to do what I do...and these are better for her little fingers to string.

 

Now, back to how *I* get in the way a wonderful bestest morning ever.  Well...it's just impossible to go through a morning, afternoon, or evening without some sort of disruption of the peace.  Coffee spills, bad attitudes, laundry, play fights, grumbling tones, dishes, laundry, computer frustrations, trying to find something lost...the list goes on and on.  I can feel it inside of me.  The unsettling pressure that rises when contentment escapes me.  I know it should not be this way.  I feel it is wrong.  And I know why....I'm lacking.  I'm craving closeness to the Source of  Love (which is God), abandonment of my own comfort, and contentment in ALL circumstances.
Because I can appreciate WHAT IS.  I can do that.  It takes effort, but my daily life is not designed to "smile and experience peace" when everything appears to be going great. 
It is designed to be building, growing, experiencing and loving into the child that He created me to be.  And as a mom....it's showing that to my children as well. 
I'm actually relieved it doesn't have to *be* perfect to *feel* like it's a wonderful morning!

Christmas Day 2011

Well, I now have a netbook! Yay! Apparently, they are really going out of style (thanks to the new Android tablets) so they are few and far between. Kudos to my sweet husband for locating one! He was really convinced in the Android technology and preferred to get me that...but I'm cheap (ahem! frugal) and practical and I knew the Netbook would be all I need for what I need it to do: which is what I'm doing right now (blogging!) :) I am not a gam-er, app-er, or video stream-er gal. I'm a typer. And a reader. And a blogger. Everything else I like to do can be done by our hard wired PC (thank you GOD for that!). This is perfect. I'm sitting here comfortably typing in the recliner while one son plays our new Xbox Kinect game: Wipeout 2, the other is flying his r/c helicopter in the kitchen, and our daughter is watching "Princess Pop Star" on her new portable DVD player.

We took a family vote and they all wanted to go to Shoney's for breakfast Christmas morning.  So, donning the Santa caps & PJs - off we went!  Unfortunately, Brielle continued to get progressively ill by the second and by the time we got home she was sick :(  She got better progressively all day though too, thank God.  That would have been a sad way to spend the entire Christmas day.

I'm taking a break today. It's Christmas, so I decided I would rest. My Etsy shop did far better than I ever imagined it would this holiday season! This is a VERY good thing! Apparently several people thought, "Well, I would like to buy __________ a present anyway...so why not buy something hand-made from a friend - where 10% goes to support an Adoption Fund?" (At least I'm thinking that's what they were thinking) I am refraining until Tuesday to start working to replenish my inventory. Almost everything sold (and the three things that still remain are of my "apprentice" line and not my best work yet). I have to wonder the expressions of those opening their gifts today. I hope they liked them at least a fraction as much as I enjoyed creating them.

I'm looking forward to creating more. I hope that it works out that I can sell at the Downtown Market. I always have that in my mind, but I know that God's plans are not my own and I hope that I just follow His plans and not my own ideas of what I'd like to see happen (which never works anyway).

This is a hand sewn bag made by a friend- re purposed from a
pair of her shorts that she made for me to hold a
gift.  She thinks the bag was just for fun, but I think
it totally makes a great bike handlebar accessory!
LOVE IT!!!

Praying that the New Year looks bright and beautiful for all of my friends & loved ones.

What do you think?  And how did you spend your Christmas day???

Brielle's Dance Recital

She is the dancer to the far Right.

Happy Holiday!

Well, I had all the good intentions. I did. But I really didn't think it was worth it to feel stressed out to complete my ideal "goals." Kinda sucks the holiday joy right out from under ya. So, I just had to release my good intentions because time & space would not allow for everything. Today, I should have been done wrapping gifts and on my way to Baking, Baking, Baking. Packaging little goodie treats tied with a ribbon and decorated with hand-picked painted pine cones - to hang on my neighbors' doorknobs.
Yeah.
Probably not happening today.
I really wanted to take my teens (via the city bus) to the mall. Not to shop. (Good grief, no!) But for other reasons I can't explain. Reasons that make sense to me.
It's 8:21am and no one has stirred yet. We were up late last night at the basketball game.
The toasted pecans.
Maybe I can get home in time to toast the pecans.
That would be something.
I haven't wrapped a single present to place under the tree.
Inhale.
Exhale.
Jump for JOY!
Enjoy the Holiday Season!