Friday, April 13, 2018

To Drown

My friends don't bring me wine
They know.
I can't.
I'd drink myself
to Drown
And do it again.
I'd never lost a child before 
I've never known a hurt so deep
No one stops by the liquor store
on their way-
or gives me pills.
I would sabatoge
myself.
Escape
and stop eating
to keep drinking
to stop feeling

Yet I'd fill with regret
and shame
wracked with guilt 
Compounding my grief
and drink more to make it go away
This well 
does not end 
at any rock bottom
but death.
I cannot entertain 
a single thought on it
or I will begin
to descend
upon my own
self-destruction.

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