The End of the Last Summer - the Beginning of the New School Year

We stayed at home all day today.  Since that rarely happens, it's notable.  I'm cleaning out Brielle's room.  We've hoped to paint it all summer, but now with so little time left, it feels like "crunch time."  Time to prepare.  Time to fit it all in.  Time to enjoy every last second.  Time to do something fun!
For me, that every last second is an all-encompassing time.  Josh will go into his Senior year of high school. Tyler will enter as a freshman.  And Brielle will begin Kindergarten - at a public school, something I never thought would happen.  I can't read the above sentences without getting choked up and tears making their way back again.  Earlier this afternoon, I had a moment.  While cleaning B's room I got to the books and had to stop.  I realized that I've been collecting (used) books for years with the intent to homeschool her.  I imagined teaching her, spending out our days learning, delving, exploring - right now- when she's just a sweet little sponge.  Before she dislikes learning any particular subject.
I thought I was at peace with our decision, and now my mind is like a whirlwind of second-guessing everything!  Should we really be sending her off to public school?  Should I be driving half-way across town to take Tyler to different school- just because we believe he's being given a greater opportunity?  Even if he dislikes the whole idea immensely?  Are we making the best decisions as parents with these children God has entrusted to us?
Parenting is such an emotional event sometimes.  Last night I was reading my friend's blog and thought, wow.....  She is doing exactly what she's supposed to be doing and she knows it.  AND she LOVES it! (She's homeschooling, of course.)  When I was a young mom with children, I had no idea there were other options than public school (unless you could afford private school).  Yet, when I put our firstborn on the bus that first day, my heart fell to my stomach.  I felt it fall.  I released him to the world, and it scared and baffled me.  That was twelve years ago.
Now that I'm older, I know more things.  My mommy-friends know things also.  They and I have talked about such.  We've felt torn and questioned everything.   We love our children immensely and desire the absolute best for them.  We've prayed and prayed.  Some of them chose to homeschool, some public school, and some private school.
Sometimes I am afraid I feel jealous.  This pains me, as deep down I know we all make the best decisions -for our unique families.
I'm still cleaning B's bedroom and she is all over the place, making messes in the living room, then the kitchen and I get frustrated.  Honestly, why all the mess?  I think to myself I should have waited until she started school: then I could clean without distractions.  I want school to start and I feel guilty.  Was I not just crying to homeschool her?  I'm so confused.
Then this song comes on and I realize.
I am moving into new ministry position this Fall, one that I have been a part of the past five years, but  will now be directing.  I'm certain this is God's plan and place for me.  I know I need to be available for our teen sons.  I know God gave me this wonderful life, full of blessings and responsibilities that He has entrusted me with.  I know He has a plan and a purpose.  And I know that trusting Him this upcoming year - and every consecutive year - is absolutely necessary.   I inhale deeply.  I exhale through tears of joy and I praise Him for the blessings that I have been given.  Thank You God- Thank You God.

Summary of Josh's Mission Trip to Guayama!!!!

Josh and his team had a wonderful experience in Guayama, Puerto Rico last week!  I know that God heard your prayers as you lifted them up!  Many of his group were on their first mission trip ever.  The week has not worn off of them yet.  Randomly, Josh will say, "I miss Puerto Rico" or "I miss Charlie."  I know now that he's not just missing this island (where part of his family & heritage come from) but the island, the team of friends that formed a family while there, the natives who showed them love and joy while they worked, the efforts they collectively accomplished, the lunch breaks on the bay, and on and on......God showed them so much!
I didn't get any updates from Josh during the week.  His friend Brooke posted picture updates online, but I didn't really know what the stories were until Josh came home and sporadically told them.

130 Participants of July 15-19 Guayama, Puerto Rico
World Changers

Last Monday they arrived in Guayama at World Changers --a mission camp where projects are organized in each location (they are many all over the U.S. & the world).  They lodged in a church building - the guys in one large room (a balcony actually) and the girls in another.  Apparently cots had just been donated the week before, so they were the first group to use them.  The showered in makeshift showers outdoors.  There were 130 participants from eight states that attended this week of World Changers.  They were placed into groups of six to twelve people then went out on their "assignment."

The "Plumb Bobs" at Phillipe's house

Josh (and Brooke) were in the "Plumb Bobs" group.  Their group went to Philippe's house.  Philippe's niece, Mildred, went with this group.  The Plumb Bobs spent all four days there.  At first I thought, "how much work can eleven people do at one man's small house?"  But after seeing the pictures, it is obvious they had plenty to do for four days, and they did a great job.  Josh said Philippe was at first reluctant and wary of the group.  He didn't want them in the house much, only cleaning up the yard (aka jungle) outside and allowing them in to clean the kitchen.  But by day three he was sitting out on his porch anticipating their arrival and excited to see them coming!
They worked hard.  They only stopped for breaks when they tired.  Two participants in their group (who had been to four other World Changer camps sites) said this was the "least-complaining" most "hardest working" group they'd been with yet.  Though labor-intensive, Josh said the weather was great and they could feel the constant breeze coming up from the ocean a mile away.

Josh & Brooke taking a lunch break on
the bay.

They loaded up everyday at lunchtime and went to the bay where picnic tables under brick pavilions were located, not far from Philippe's home.  While there on one of the first days they met Charlie.  Charlie did not have a job, just a bike.  He asked Mildred what they were doing, and she told him.  He asked if he could come along?   She said that would be fine, but not to get in the way.  She said he'd have to work too and not be lazy.  Charlie agreed.

Charlie on site holding a crab!
(There is a video where he caught an iguana!)

When they returned to Philippe's house to chop down the yard with machetes, Charlie jumped right in.  Josh said he was the funniest guy.  He loved to laugh and to make others laugh.  And he chopped down most of the yard, a task Josh said would have taken the rest of the group a very long time to do!  By the end of the week Charlie

Bananas in Phillipe's back yard!

definitely became a part of their Plumb Bobs group it seems.  And though he had joined them to pass time and have fun, he affected their time there greatly, and they had a powerful influence on him as well, as Charlie was able to see Christ's love by spending time around this awesome group of young servants.  Josh didn't give me the full story, but did say that Charlie was not a Christian when they met him, but that he was by the end of the week.  Praise God!

Josh giving the basketball to Joshua.

sThe highlight of Josh's week:  The twelve year old (also named Joshua) who dribbled his basketball everywhere he went.  The basketball was tattered and worn, but the kid didn't care.  Here, when a basketball gets that worn, Josh will throw it out, as it's no longer worth playing or practicing with.  This may seem like some kind of snooty Westerner thing, but this is his sport, and quality of ball does matter, just like a marathon runner's shoes would.   So, the next trip to the local store Josh purchased a basketball for the boy, and his face -when Josh handed it to him- was the highlight of the trip for him.

Cage, Josh, & Michelle

On Friday it rained, so they couldn't work much, Josh took advantage of this and took a long nap.  On Saturday morning they left and headed to San Juan to enjoy an day of hiking, swimming in a waterfall, and sight-seeing.
Overall, from the stories I have heard (which you have now read), it seems to have been an awesome mission trip for all involved!  God is so amazing!  We are so thankful for everyone who supported Josh & his team, financially, in prayer, through encouragement, in EVERYTHING!
There is a web page of the week produced from World Changers if you want even more information.  The video is great - but long.  So we marked the "time starts" if you want to specifically see Josh's team:  minutes timed in at 4:17 & 4:45 (on this one look carefully at Philippe's face full of excitement!)

Smearing Calendars and Summer Whirlwinds

Wow, the days are just flying by.  Calendar pages are being flipped and summer is smearing right before is.  It was just April!  Now it's mid-June!?!  The Clarksville Downtown Market started with a BANG!  Loved it!  Love my new location on the lower level parking lot.  The traffic volume is higher and so my inventory is being taken out - which is SO GREAT!  It also means more work (to main that kind of inventory level) which was not the case last year.   Last year (on the upper upper lot) I had time to work on things, chat with other vendors, even walk around and shop a bit.  This year - very seldom do I get a break - and I'm super happy about it, because God is so good!   And the coolest part is that I love creating and sharing it with appreciative customers.  It's like art flowing from my life into theirs.  It's so beautiful.  I love talking to people and hearing their responses, their suggestions, and their ideas.  I like hearing about their lives!  It enhances me to be even more creative in my work.  I love it!
Back on the home front there are still household obligations and family schedules though.  Which means I have to juggle a lot.  Josh (the oldest) is pretty self-sufficient, getting himself to work and basketball practices, which is a blessing.  Tyler (currently at church camp this week) can also get himself to summer day camp, the pool, the store, etc...   Brielle, she's the one I have to really work with on scheduling, time, activities, and play dates.  She's playing T-Ball, attending Vacation Bible School(s), and is currently at Tumbling Camp.  All of this and my household chores haunt me daily!  I do actually mean haunt.  That means I'm barely getting them done, and when I'm not doing them, I feel haunted by them, nagged even. My sweet husband even noticed-- and washed the dishes yesterday.  (Bless him!)  So, I've asked the kids to help out some, and I'm currently reading, "The Entitlement Trap" which I hope to implement soon!
But just for this morning, I'm pouring into my blog as I sit looking out the window of the 2nd story of the Library, trying to capture -or slow a bit- of this summer.  The kids are each somewhere, and I decided that I would save gas by staying around downtown for while two of them await transportation rides home.  I did kind of envision a slower, more laid back summer, but I'm embracing this action-packed one too.
This week I'll also be making more coasters, laundry soap and play-dough!   And beads.  Always beads.    I hope to so see you soon & thank you for reading my blog through!  It means so much to me!  Have a great SUMMER!!!

Great News!

The greatest news is that Josh is fully funded for his Mission Trip to Puerto Rico!!!  Yay!!!!!!!!  We are so thankful for the generous support of friends and family who just amazing lavished him with prayer, support, and the funds to be able to take this trip!
Well, okay, the greatest news of ALL is that Jesus was born, lived an amazing life, did lots of cool things (like miracles) and turned everything upside down, then gave His perfect life as a sacrifice for ALL people for ALL time.  That His gift continues to give to us every single second of every day is GRACE FOR ALL TIME.  Yes, that is the greatest news of all!!!
But Josh getting to go on mission for Him, that's pretty freakin' great too!  :)
If, I could ask: Please keep praying for him!!!!  We would all super appreciate it!

Getting Ready!

In other great news:  The Clarksville Downtown Market starts tomorrow morning!!!!!  SOOOOOO Excited about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope to see you there.  Mention you read my blog and you will save $1 on any purchase!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I keep my prices as low as I possibly can, so this could help!   Thanks for your support!  My family and I really appreciate it!!!!

Josh's Mission Trip to Guayama, Puerto Rico

When we found out that Josh's group (Relevant Students) from OneChurch were going to go on a Mission Trip to Puerto Rico this summer, of course we asked how much it would cost.  When Josh found out it was $1,000 - he told me he couldn't do it.  Reason being: he could not ask people for money to support him. (This guy doesn't even ask for a ride.  Ever.  Even if there it's freezing rain, tornado coming, lightening striking wicked out).  Okay, maybe that's extreme, but it's true!  Josh does not like to ask for help.  (I have NO idea where he gets this from!) <sheepish grin>
But I really thought we could raise the money, if he truly wanted to go, which he did.
Then I discovered how vulnerable it makes a person to ask for support (especially the financial kind).  But I typed up a letter and posted it on Facebook and we started asking.  My friend called that very morning and I shared my apprehension with her and she said to me, "you know when you ask people to pray and support you (or your family) you are inviting them in to share the journey, the blessing, that will be experienced through God's mission.  For His Glory."  Wow.  So, asking for prayers became easier & easier, as I thought about her words.  And in just a short time Josh grew more confident and trusting.  He believes he'll get the support he needs.
Me, I'm trying, but I've been a little stressed out by it.  Then, I had lunch with a friend who had adopted a baby.  We were friends before this was even an idea, so I was involved in the whole process, somewhat.  I remembered clearly how anxious she had been and how apprehensive she was about raising the money for the adoption (it costs a LOT of money to adopt!).  She looked at me and said, "Don't worry about it.  My parent's mission trip was recently funded.  His adoption was funded."  She said this so confidently.  It stuck with me.  And I kept praying.  Then, a few days later a check arrived in the mail, from a friend of mine who'd moved away, who knew our family.  She had written words of encouragement and prayer.  And I thought, "her family is joining us in the blessing.  You can take this."  And honestly, it was humbling.  And so encouraging.
So, as hard as it is for me/us to take anything, it's much easier to invite people to join us in supporting Josh on this journey - supporting him in prayer, financially, whichever.  So that they too, can partake in the blessing of God's great commission, His heart for life changed.
If you would please PRAY we are so grateful.
If you would like to support Josh financially (he currently has $591.74 still to raise) there is a link at the top right of my blog or you can mail a check to him, just email or FB me for our address.  Thank you for just reading this though!  God bless you!

The Last Hour of Alone

It is 3:00 pm on Friday afternoon.   May 29, 2013.   Two of our three children are at their grandparents' house - six hours away - for Spring break week.  Our seventeen-year-old son stayed back for lifeguard training this week.  This afternoon he drove himself to the community center to play basketball.  His dad is at work.  I'm on the computer.  And it dawns on me.  This is it.  This is the last time I'll be home by myself for a while again.
And I'm checking Facebook.  Really?  I tell myself I need to get off.  I look around and think, "well, what DO I want to do this last hour at the end of this week?"  I can't think of it.
I've been listening to Spotify  (all week).  It's been great.  I've been cleaning, painting, working, you know - productive things...
Gungor's "Dry Bones" is playing.
My friend and I prayed together just this morning...
As I scroll my page, a post or two reminds me of an online friend, April Karli, and I realize I haven't seen her posts lately.  Maybe it's been months.  Is she off FB?   I search.
Nope, she's still here.  She just posted her own blog two hours prior!  Her blogs have greatly encouraged me in the past.  I scroll her page.  She's notorious (to me) for sharing other writers' interesting, encouraging, and thought-provoking blogs or articles.  I've never met April in real life.  She lives in Texas and I'm not sure about Texas.  But I like April.  I keep scrolling.   I find two blogs she's shared about teen boys.   I have two teen boys and I always want to be a better mom to them.  I always feel like I could do better.  In fact, during Spring Break I was reading the book, "Boys should be boys" by Meg Meeker (great book!), wondering if I am too late?  I want the absolute best for them!  I think of that often.  Pray for it often.  God show me and show them! This is every mother's prayer, right?

Three years ago at Dunbar Cave
Josh-14  Tyler-11

They are now seventeen and fourteen; I just love them wholeheartedly.
So I read the blogs.  I'm crying.  Then...I'm bawling.
And now- I'm typing about it.

Ann Voskamp's page is still up playing the piano, and I haven't even finished reading the full post yet!  I had to pause because it was so overwhelming.   It's an awfully good feeling.  But so hard.  But I know now that this is exactly how I would choose to spend my last hour.  I want it to sink in.  I want time to drink it in.  I want to know.  I want my boys to know.  I want my daughter to know.  How this LOVE is.  This love that pierces the heart and hallows the soul.  That digs deeper, and deeper, and becomes always more meaningful.  Always more beautiful.  Oh, how I long to feel it!  The growing.


And I cannot read this post my sister sent me without crying: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/01/how-to-be-the-parent-you-want-to-be-40-things-every-child-must-know-before-they-leave-home/

So, I pause, and I read on.  I cry.  I read.  I cry on.  I count it all as gain. And as Carol Kuykendall says, "the hurt is a good hurt.  The pain is a good pain."  And as strange as it may seem, I want to FEEL it.  So...I do.   And I'm truly thankful for it.
Bettered by it.
Battered by it.
Humbled because of it.
Thankful beyond measure.
God knows.

Oh, how He must know.

Season 36: Episode 5

Love this handmade gift from my sister with all Local
Business Cards - mine included!

The Fiddlers' Festival was great!  I heard the talent was amazing, and I did get to see the cloggers, but they were just a small portion of the amazing talent that I heard filled the stage!  As a Vendor, it went well over all, I met some new Vendor friends (always good!) and some new customer friends.  I love talking to older people (like those 70+) because they have just wonderful amazing perspective on life and are full of so much KNOWLEDGE!   There was one such woman  (from Evansville, IN) who really could have been my good friend, as we were definitely kindred spirits (thank you Anne with an E), and I just really enjoyed talking with her for a half hour or so.  It seemed we could have talked on for hours.  I would have loved to visit her often, like-minded as we were, especially considering she was FULL of wisdom and I am not!  You know....not like she was.  Only going through LIFE can we gain perspective on some things.   I told her to check out this blog, so hopefully she does & comments so I know she did!
Being there made me all the more excited for the Clarksville Downtown Market!  I'm still working on stocking & restocking my inventory.  I'm excited about some new things I have coming out!

In our family, Josh (our 17 year old), passed his drivers test!  A good thing, a milestone step, but it also makes certain things more complicated, while also making other things easier.
As I am parenting a toddler and a teenager simultaneously  I can still with great honesty tell you that neither is easier than the other, they are both quite difficult in different ways!  It's an emotional roller coaster, lovely and exciting, crazy and bittersweet.

Softball started for Spring season!  We had our first practice last Sunday.  It was so much fun, but my entire body ached from it!   Ha!  Playing softball at age 36 is not for wimps!
I hope to continue to write as the seasons of life progress.  Hopefully I can continue to blog once a week through the busiest season of my year (Spring).  I have a time set aside on Mondays to do it, and so far so good.  I love it.  It is like writing a letter update to a dear friend or cousin, somewhere far off, or not so far, but close to my heart, and I am so fortunate this is you, reader & friend!