The Passengers Seat

When my website went down for a few months I kept trying to figure out what was wrong, and honestly considered deleting it.  It's actually a blog anyway.  But I was not using it like a blog, or like a business website either.  Then I just wasn't using it at all.  So, I didn't know what the point was.  I missed my old blog: Blue Moments.  There, I was able just to express myself and write whatever I felt like.  It was like a freeing outlet and I felt connected with those who read about my life: the ups and downs.  I can think of a few friends who I grew closer to just because they read and heard my heart, as I wrote my life.
And ideally, it would be great to have two blogs.  One to report my business stuff (because sometimes I feel like there is SO MUCH good stuff to share!) and the other to write the ponderings that reveal themselves to me in the bluest moment of the day, the moment that feeling washes over me and time stands still.
But, Lord knows I can't keep up with two blogs!
So, I'm bringing my Blue Moments here.  That could mean I could be posting more often <gasp!> and I know it might be a bit confusing to people looking for a business website.  But I'm making the best possible choice I can right now.  So, if people come looking for Laundry Soap and find themselves reading about my son's basketball experience his junior, then okay.  I apologize now, I guess?  ha!

Riding on the passenger side.

Speaking of Josh, he'll be driving on his own soon.  He's had his trainers permit for nearly six months now.  I'm starting to enjoy having a chauffeur.   In the past we had  never encouraged him to get his permit, we figured he'd just do it when he was ready.  Which turned out to be about 16 1/2.  We just thought he'd be fine riding the bus, walking, or biking to his destinations.  Which was true, for the most part.  But the bus doesn't run on Sundays and it can't get him to and from basketball games.  So, yes, I am about to say it:  I'm looking forward (in some ways) to him driving himself.  He's a very cautious driver, so I'm not concerned there.  But he does have a really strange sense of direction (or lack thereof), so I am interested to see where he ends up!  But for now, I'm trying to relish the moments in the car with him.  This is a short (six month) season of life, where your child drives you around, and then they get their licence and you don't ever have to let them drive you again.  So, I'm storing these precious times in my heart.

Parenting is such an amazing experience!  Children are constantly teaching us, even if it seems we should be teaching them.  I am still learning how to learn.  Maybe I always will be, until the end of my days on Earth.  Oh, but it will not end there.  I can continue to learn in Heaven!  Oh, yes!  I have been reading this AMAZING book by Randy Alcorn, entitled "Heaven."  A small group meets to discuss it.  It's mind-blowing, really.  I can't tell you about it, you will just have to read it on your own.  But it will change your perspective, and ultimately your life.

Other than that book club, I have little spiritual community in my life, besides my accountability sisters, two who are the closest to me, and a handful that live in the area, and many more who live all across America.
It is a bit strange, this season, as other seasons I have been sooooo involved in ministries and had amazing Christian families that met together regularly.  My heart sometimes aches for that, and yet I know this is the season of my life that God has ordained and is using for His purposes.  I suppose we cannot understand fully the depth of Faith, in the shallow or the deep sense.  How often I wonder though if I am spinning my wheels, or listening well, or not asking the right questions, or, or, or........
And then I hear, "Be faithful with what I have given you."
And my heart crumbles as I am humbled.

Of course.  I have been given so much.  A wonderful husband, amazing children, warm-hearted friends, a home to care for, puppies, and my little Unearthed Roots venture.  That's so much!  Am I being faithful with all that I have been given?  Sometimes I just want to do more, more, more!  I want to do something that matters!  Something with others!  Something that I can see some results of!  Ouch.  Woah.  There it is.  I have been given so much, and here I am wanting more, just because I have experienced more.  I know I should just appreciate.
Give thanks.

And that is where I am, here on my knees again.
Learning to give thanks.
Eucharisteo.
Amen.